(1)Because you work your whole life to have everything you want and then you die and lose it all. What's the point?
(2)Because the only way to get free contraception is at the cost of you're dignity (family planning) or deep sea diving (Your local docks).
(3)Because attractive women are generally not interested in you because they are either gay or because you yourself are ugly and or fat.
(4)Because little things like bacteria can f*** you over when your billions of times bigger than them. What the f*** is up with that?
(5)Because my glass is either half full or half empty why can't I have a full f***ing pint!
(6)Because when old people tell you to get off their property when your just in the middle of something important you know you cant just run into the wind with your trousers half way down your ankles. (Not unless your stupid).
(7)Because when you tell people to f*** off they just stand there glaring at you. What? Isn't it a big enough hint for them?
(8)Because sex is more fun then it looks.
(9)Because most people are generally like kinder eggs: their outsides are grubby coloured and their insides are filled with crap.
(10)Because South Wales has the highest pregnancy rate in Europe! Why aren't you getting any of this action?
(11)Because it's not legal too shoot to kill.
(12)Because when you go bald, hair grows everywhere but your f***ing head. Why God? Why?
(13)Because you never have any spare change in your wallet when Christmas carollers come around, and they always happen to be too young so you can't just tell them to 'f*** off'.
(14)Because when you ask your parents about birth control, they say, "Don't do it, that's your birth control".
(15)Because nature always thinks it's right and is!
(16)Because the only thing you can't get in public toilets is Rock'n'Roll.
(17)Because animals are allowed to have sex anywhere they want but when you do it, you end up at the police station at 3 o'clock in the morning with a fine for indecent exposure.
(18)Because rugby is basically soft gay porn with mud wrestling and the prospect of being touched by 29 other men with the chance of scoring with half of them on TV.
(19)Because communism works up to a point and then you have to share your girlfriend/ wife with the village.
(20)Because you're the second tallest guy at the gig and the tallest guy is standing right in f***ing front of you.
